Do you have pizza in Finland

Yes we do. Pizza is in fact becoming our national food, were it any more popular.

Do you have internet in Finland

Yes we do. Finland ranks among the top five countries in the world when it comes to counting average net usage per citizen.

Do you have a lot of polar bears there

No, we don’t. There are no polar bears in europe, as most educated people know.

Finnish values

Finland is country filled with different Values. Here are some of the things we really admire and hold on to.

The Cellphone

Literally everyone has one. Yes, literally: even the kids at school have their own mobiles so that mom and dad can reach them during the daytime. Do not touch your friends’ cellphone without permission, or imagine the power-switch on it would be used even during the night. Factory-installed ringing tones are usually considered ridiculous, everyone will download a ‘personal’ one from the net. And do not ask what an sms-message is, if you want to spare yourself from the public humiliation.

The Sauna

If you intend to make jokes about sauna, be sure to only do it safely after you have visited one. And even then, remember to be polite (”...but that’s only a foreigner’s humble opinion”).

If you do know the difference between savusauna (smokesauna) and a regular one, remember that they should not be discussed in the same sentence, as they are entirely different with each other.

The Family car

Usually Finns only have one car for the entire family. This car will be used for all transportation, particularly the head of the family will use it to go to work everyday, despite the fact that Finland has a very effective public transportation system. This will be true even if the workplace is some 5 minutes’ walk away from one’s home.

This is hilarious only because Finland has an excellent public transportation system. All the towns and cities have been designed so that you can get anywhere using public transportation or walking.

The Sports

Many Finns are keen on sports. This means that whenever Kimi Räikkönen manages to win an F1-competition, he’s our hero and all the daily papers are writing about him for a day or two. Whenever he loses, the same papers will write about his personal diffulties in being a nice and intelligent person. The same applies for icehockey. We also have this game called pesäpallo, which is rather like baseball but totally unlike it.
It seems that Finns consider the medal system used in sports consisting of only one medal, gold. This means that a person or a team managing to get second in the World League of Horse Polo will usually be quoted in the newspapers as “not to have won” instead of “placing second”.

The Santaclaus

As everybody knows, Santa Claus is Finnish and lives in Korvatunturi, Finland. End of discussion, issue closed.

The Moomin-characters

These lovable white blumps are the creation of Tove Jansson, who happens to be a Finn. DO NOT insult Moomins to Finns: Almost all of us have grown surrounded by them as tales heard as bed-time stories and will be terribly, terribly upset if you do.

Law

This is a fact to be known prior to heading over to Finland. Finns are very, very law-obedient. No-one knows why this is so, but it’s one of the advantages/disadvantages of a small country. This, of course, also means that we have a huge amount of sometimes weird and hilarious laws. Here are some examples to give you a general picture.

The traffic is smooth, as almost everybody really obeys the speed-limits. In Finland you can get a ticket for not keeping enough safety distance to the car driving before you.

In smaller towns no-one crosses the street on a red light. Ever. Even if there’s no traffic.

In the smallest towns the are no pedestrian crossings, so there are no lights either. This poses a problem on crossing the streets.

If a roadsign says you should not turn this way and you’re in the middle of a tundra with nothing except reindeers and a few shrubberies and you absolutely, positively need to turn that way, you do not turn that way.

There’s a law passing in Helsinki stating that people are not allowed to smoke on their own balconies. From the summer 2007 onwards smoking will be prohibited in all bars and clubs.

In Helsinki, there’s a law which describes the times when you are allowed to take blankets and bed-sheets out to get some air. It’s about one hour in a week.

Beer or any alcohol cannot be sold in stores or kiosks after 9:00 pm. Don’t even try after this. Wines and stronger liquors are only available in previously government owned chain, Alko.

Restaurants are open to 4:00 am maximum. There’s no flexibility in this, and if you’re finishing your drink when the bar closes you can literally be carried out by the bouncer.

There is no public bribery or corruption. Money can’t buy your way anywhere. If, for instance, applying for a passport, it takes the same amount of time whether you’re a millionaire or a poor student.

The Finnish system demands a lot of paperwork. Take a pencil with you where ever you go, just in case you need to fill out a form of some sort. And always keep some sort of ID with you.

It’s illegal to drive a bicycle after three beers.

Gay couples can get married, as the law concerning homosexual relationships has passed. This is not weird or hilarious, but a huge step forward for a nation. The church, however, remains a bit stiff on the issue.

Dating a Finn: a personal disaster?

Well if Finns are such a nice lot of half-eskimos, how about dating one? In general, how do Finns relate to dating and (ahem) all things involved in it? Approaching this touchy subject is a delicate issue, but as we’ve seen on previous chapters we can already begin to form a general picture about them.

Although we have – as everyone has – had a long tradition in the previous centuries being devoted and marrying only once, the western lifestyle has had it’s effect on us in this one. The older “He is Mr. Right for me” -type of thinking has changed into “Well he might be Mr. Right, but maybe not, I guess I should give him a try and if I don’t like it, I’ll find another Mr. Right” -type of thinking in the 1980’s. Dating is, thus, very typical and a common habit.

Finns usually start dating at an early age, typical first girl/boyfriends are of course schoolmates and such. This fact combined with the liberal attitude towards alcohol usually leads to school parties being quite hilarious french kissing-competitions. And it usually leads to… Well, it does. And it does so generally in an early age.

So frankly speaking Finns have a rather easy approach to sex, in general.

This is another advantage/disadvantage of the typical Finnish liberalistic attitude to everything. To some it might seem that Finns live a valueless life behaving like this, getting to know this side of the human nature in such a careless manner. But it’s the by-product of the modern age, people thinking freely will give more and more allowances to their children and so on. Also, religion does not play as important a part in Finland as it does in several other countries: This attributes towards liberal approach, as well.

That matter handled, how do Finns actually do as girl/boyfriends? Usually – and unfortunately – this question is a materialistic one, concentrating on the idea about a blonde eskimo-type of guy/girl from a tiny exotic country, but this not of course the idea of this text.

As we know, Finns are a curious mixture of tradition, free thinking, education, harsh conditions and sexual liberalism. This combined with the fact that we’re used to equality in almost everything (well, at least nearly equal) between men and women, relationships nowadays are rarely traditional (“Me man. You woman. Make food or I’ll stop giving you money for shopping”) types, but rather conversation- and opinion-centric as well as volatile ones (“Will you make food or shall I do it today and make a tick in the “I made food today” -list honey?”).
So is everything hunkeydorey then? If we are so used to everything and on top of all already mentioned are so sexually liberated, we should make excellent lovers/husbands/wives, yes? In other words, let’s see the bad sides, which you’ve all been waiting for.

Finland is a tiny country centered on itself and it’s own growth. Thus Finns can be awfully egosentric, always looking at things on the basis of “back home it’s never like this” -type of way. But by far the worst part is tradition of not showing one’s emotions openly. Typically (and very, very generally) Finns are sullen, inwards-turned individuals who might have serious difficulties in expressing their feelings openly. Except hate, which is expressed openly, of course as it’s easier than the rest. But feelings of love and caring usually tend to get buried under the surface. And once you’ve got a Finn going on about talking his or her feelings, he/she is usually quite straightforward about it (“I told you once that I love you, don’t you remember?”) or too relieved to be tolerated once they begin (“I love you I love you I love you. I love you. I do. Love you.”.)

On top of all this, Finns might have some trouble in feelings in general. After all, some of us still believe that ANY feelings shouldn’t be expressed openly, and for instance boys are still taught (in some families) not to ever cry and so on. This is commonly thought to be the (at least partly) reason for stress and such, as people at have difficulties in expressing their emotions in any way and thus become depressed. And – as the sugar on top – this problem with emotions is usually tried to be overcome with alcohol (“Rheally, I just lhove you. You’re lhike a bhrother to me.”)

But no need to be sad! A lovable, egomanic, troublesome, sexually liberated and anxiety-prone Finn in your life can make things interesting, when you add all this up. Really, it can. Try some.

Finnish tradition

What about tradition? Traditions and historical events is usually a good way to realise why certain things in culture are the way they are.

1. The Wars

A long long time ago, in this very galaxy and unfortunately not so far away from where this is written, the Russians decided that it’s about time to invade Finland. The Finns, being not very happy about the idea, decided to keep their home and independence thank you very much, and thus, the Winter War begun.

There was a lot of shooting, skiing, planning, dying and all the usual war’ish things going on for the next four months. The result: Still independent Finland, a lot of people dead, and some areas lost to Russia. There was indeed much wailing and nagging of teeth back then.

That not being enough, during the following three years in WW II Finland fought alongside Germany – a fact usually downput by Finns- and was again mostly shooting and getting shot by the russians. The result being, still, and independent country and a lot of people dead. Here’s a reference site about the wars.

Well, so how is this so different from every other nations’ wounds and traumas from their own wars? The answer of course is that it’s not at all that different. But they seem very important to a nation, and the history is marked by swearing and cursing about the “things being the way they were before the war”. Because of the wars some Finns hold an everlasting grudge against Russians; this is particularly true considering older people.

Finland was also considered by many to be Russia’s puppet during the Cold War -period: Allegations have been made that Russia’s policies steered Finland a whole lot. This, as true as it was, ended on Russia’s collapse in 1990’s.

2. The Finnish envy and the inferiority complex.

The Finns have a longlasting tradition of envy. It has a lot to do with the inferiority complex, so these should be explained a bit.
If someone’s neigbour buys a new car, it is sometimes a bit hard (for a Finn) to swallow the whole thing without buying a new car too. It helps little that usually the neigbour goes on and on about it: How life has changed after getting that new car. The formula here is that when someone gets something, those knowing about it will want one too. This, strangely, applies to all things, even immaterial ones.

Finns can easily and routinely envy just about anything, but the key issue here is that they envy things like nationality (“Oh, you’re british?”). This leads to an interesting deduction about the inferiority complex. Finns do sometimes manage to believe that everyone’s a bit better than they are, except when drunk.

The reason for both of these things is a bit unclear. Whether is has something to do with the fact that we’re a tiny nation (0,05 % of world’s population) on the edge of nowhere is just as good an explanation than the fact that during the winter there’s not much light and thus everybody gets depressed.

Efforts have been made to improve the situation. There are weird slogans contradicting the whole thing (“To be born Finnish is like winning the lottery”) and constant stressing over the importance of history (“Things were so much better back then, and they will be in the future, too”).

But that’s enough about that, it’s a boring subject.

3. Sauna

The Sauna has been mentioned earlier on as a reference, but the key point remains unclear. Why, why do Finns have sauna? What’s it is for? Does it have a meaning?

“Originally, the sauna was a place to bathe, but as it was the only available clean place with abundant water, it has also been a place where the Finns have been brought into this world and healed.” (Quote from Mihael Cancar’s excellent Sauna-site)

So according to tradition, sauna was all that plus a way to combat the extreme coldness during the winter. As sauna was consided to be the cleanest place around, people used to deliver babies in there and so on.

Families used to be huge, and so was the amount of hot water needed to wash up the lot. Generally speaking, on many occasions sauna was the only way to wash oneself up. This changed a bit with a weird new invention called the shower.

There are several superstitions related to the sauna. During the 19th century it was believed among the common people that sauna was the means to cast away evil spirits. Sauna used to have all sorts of common beliefs attributed into it, the warmth being used to cure almost all sorts of diseases and so on.

The first saunas were actually just large holes in the ground with a fire in the bottom. How much fun is that?

About Finland and its Strange inhabitants

Cold facts

Location: Northern Europe, bordering the Baltic Sea, Gulf of Bothnia, and Gulf of Finland, between Sweden and Russia. Really.

Area: total: 338,145 sq km (which is slightly smaller than Montana)

Border countries: Norway, Sweden, Russia

Climate: Summer is Warm and Sunny and the winter is Bloody Cold.

Terrain: Flat as a pancake.

Population: 5,2 million (which is about five times as much as in Montana)

Finns and their behaviour

As everyone knows, there are some particular things to know about a country and it's inhabitants. If you want to get the whole nine yards, Virtual Finland is the place to start. It has a huge amount of information in it, mostly useful stuff, from the point of "Finland in general". Visitors coming to Finland looking for Juha/Aino will profit from the comprehensive Lonely Planet's Finland-guide, with facts and figures and information on real life and answers to real questions and not all this "maybe" and "in theory" -type of stuff.

Whether you are interested in Finns in general or an explanation on particular person's behaviour, Johanna Laakso's excellent clarification on the subject might help you a lot. In it you'll find reasons for many questions usually arising from a situation in which a Finn has left you puzzled.

If you have something to you want know about Finnish sex life, there is an exerpt from the book "Sexual Pleasures" by Elina Haavio-Mannila and Osmo Kontula available. Sadly, with no pictures, but hard scientific data. Those of you who've read that one might be interested in some pointless stats when still considering "will Juha/Aino be the perfect mate for me?". Also people interested in Finnish women in particular might want to read through the Finnish Maiden. Again, sadly, with no pictures. Don't you just hate pages with just text and no pictures?

The strange language and the communication skills

Before heading over to Finland, be sure to check the handy alternative online dictionary. This one will help you to reach a better understanding especially when dealing with young(er) Finns. And later on, as you have become fluent with the basics, there is of course an online-grammar of Finnish. In Finnish, which is kinda reasonable. In a way, it is.

Finns are not overtly talkative, usually all you'll get are grunts and very short replies to no matter how long questions. On overall people talk english rather well so you need not to worry about not being understood. It's just that most people here feel that a grunt is as good an answer as any. Really, try it. "Have you eaten your breakfast?" - "Hrmph". "How about you give me half of your salary?" - "Hrmph". See now?

Finns are not keen on small talk, and an expression of feelings or strong emotions may be received with just a blank stare. This, however, doens't mean that the person you are dealing with would not appreciate it: It just is received like that. There generally is no "compliment-return compliment" -policy in Finnish communication. For good examples, see a Kaurismäki movie, you'll get the picture. There's an excellent reference site called Siunattu Teknologia for those of you not familiar with the director.

Still not certain? If you want to meet Finns online, you've easily set. Being a technologically enthusiastic country almost half of the population are internet users (2.65 million in 2002). All the usual mediums are in constant use, and you're well off using IRC (which is of Finnish origins, btw) or any of the instant messengers. Well, maybe not AOL but that goes without saying.

Not an IRC-wizard? No problem. All you need is a browser and the newest shockwave-plugin, and you're good to go. An easy way to meet Finns online is the Habbo Hotel, where online people are represented as 2cm-tall pixel dudes which can subsequently talk with other 2cm-tall pixel dudes. Doesn't this sound like fun? Anyway, Habbo's Finnish menus might distract you first, so a handy place to practice is the american version of Hotel Habbo. Why there? The technology used is Finnish.

Dealing with them. Meeting them. Going to sauna with them...

Meeting Finns the old-school -way, that is to say offline, in real life™, has been known to occur a lot in bars and clubs. Finns refer to "going out" as "going to a bar or a club" as we seldom have suitable weather for continuos beach-parties and everybody is thus used to this.

Finns generally have a strange sense of humor and are social, if not extrovertly so, after a few drinks. People interested in more traditional (or generally older) Finns are sure to find us at any traditional festival, dancing waltz and polka. Also, older Finns abroad in mediterranean countries can be easily recognized by the worn-out bermuda-shorts combined with a handy waist-bag and grandpa's sunglasses.

And let's not forget the important one: A few of you really know what to do in a sauna, let alone what a sauna is. So here's a clarification from Michael Cancar's excellent sauna-site.

When you're done with your with the stuff above, you might want to read some recent remarks about travellers who've been to Finland.

... and drinking with them.

The usual picture is that Finns are able to drink a bottle of vodka and stand up straight. Or that we're constantly drunk whenever we can, when not working. And, depending, while working.

This is both true and untrue. Drinking is stereotypically considered to be the social norm, and it is not considered an really weird to be overtly drunk at the office party and throw up in your bosses handbag. It is, of course, incredibly stupid but it's not weird.

Since people usually drink a lot, they tend to start early. And as they drink a lot for all their lives, it usually means that people have a good(ish) tolerance to alcohol. So yes, on many occasions you'll find people who actually can drink a bottle of vodka and stand up straight. For awhile, at least.

Finns are known to be drinkers who don't even know what "social drinking" and "personal limits" mean. Social drinking is sometimes consired to be the occasion when a group of people get really drunk together, just sitting down somewhere and concentrating on the drinking. On the other hand, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Most Finns drink with reason and just to enjoy themselves, I've been told.

The drinking issue is usually not so very much different from every other country's habits. Finns have just a remarkable talent on behaving incredibly stupidly while abroad, and this makes the idea visible in itself, and leads to people thinking that all Finns always behave like this.

Here's a further study on the subject.